So, your evil mage summoned a gory cemetery from the Netherrealms and your players entered it without hesitation. So far so good, you thought, until suddenly the characters began to read the tombstones and you weren't really expecting them to take time out from their busy schedule of obliterating Liches to examine your handiwork. Luckily for you, I've got you covered.
The following is a list of disturbing and funny-to-me epitaphs (from the Latin "epi" meaning "over" and "taphos" meaning "tomb") that you are free to use in your campaigns. The names, can be changed to protect your innocents.
- Scarlet Deleter. Adulterous adulteress.
- The Eager Mausoleum: Randy, William, and Abel.
- R.I.P. Nolan Haley. Suicide. He never got concent.
- Sgt. Marvin Drexler. His last words were, "That's cannon."
- Here lies Penny Evernew. Cleaned chimneys. Died of the flue.
- Melvin Horace. Died from a preventable disease. Pro-abstinents.
- Interred you'll find Gail Mythria. One too many virgin daiquiris.
- Saundra O'Reiley. Her cats numbered nine, then upon her they dined.
- Here lies Finn Bailey. Death by animal. His last words, "What a croc!"
- Here lies James McKree. Died of a broken heart. Well, pierced actually.
- Jimi Mandrakes. Musician. Strangled with a cord.
- Here lies Roger Fox. No one could cure his ales.
- Crazy Jay Penold. Hung after starting an aunt farm.
- Interred here is Ariel Walker. She fell from the sky.
- Harry Ford. Archeologist. Died after touching the arc.
- Rusheed Al-Mafti. Died in a bizarre accident at a bazaar.
- Malfee Skeelo. Wished he was a bawler. Died of dehydration.
- Ty Barrel, Esq. Mauled by a tiger. He never saw the claws.
- Ben Lanolaw. Father of octuplets. Died from something he eight.
- The final resting place of Lt. Murphy Soil. An armer without armor.
- Sophie Lee. Farmer. Picked a tomato, picked a carrot, then got beat.
- Lorem Ipsum.
- Jenna Borony. Actress. She couldn't take the booze.
- Darrius Lemon. Banker. He couldn't make sense of the world.
- Alison Moody. She just wanted a break. And then she got one.
- Ava Flightergeist. Bird watcher. Her final thought was, "Cheep".
- Eduardo Pennystock: banker, mountaineer, and poor judge of distance.
- Paul Anders. Horrible Farmer. Known as the Pridesworth Cereal Killer.
- Luke Bowne. Hung by the state for taking a horse of a different culler.
- Boris Muffintop. Food critic. Died in winter. Couldn't stand the chilly.
- Tyre Moxie. Died of starvation after he cached too much cash.
- Manny DelClaire. Died of disease. That's what you get for guarding the coughers.
- Jennifer Angst. Loved homebodies. She had 12. So they hung her.
- Forest Elevenine. Turns out the number seven isn't always lucky.
- Here lies Alvin Luxor. Left his wife cause she called him a bore. Was run through by a wild pig.
- O. B. Lang. Musician. Started piano, moved to cello, and died as a cymbal.
Got a twist on my ideas or a question you'd like to ask? Add them to the comments below. Feel free to change anything you see here and, if you like this post, share it with your friends on Twitter and Facebook.