Monday, June 27, 2016

Top 40 Bard Songs

Even the best bards get stage fright every now and then. Sweaty palms. Frozen brain. Lute askew. If you're having trouble choosing which of the sweet tracks in your repertoire will kill at your next impromptu concert, here's a top 40 list of bardic vinyl burners that will slay 'em right where they're standing.

  1. Air Plane by The White Hot Silly Lepers
  2. Alter Selfie by The Chainpullers
  3. Animate Dead or Alive by Bon Jon Bovi
  4. Away from the Moon by Three Dimension Doors Down
  5. Because We Arcane by Thinman Fats
  6. Blight My Fire by The Windows
  7. Bones of the Earth by Sob Zombies
  8. The Chill Touch is Gone by C. C. Queen
  9. Cities on Continual Flame by White Oyster Stew
  10. Check for Traps by Weak Mills
  11. Crawling in the Darkvision by Tonsastank
  12. Dress You Up in My Gloves by Sharonna
  13. Green-flamed Lady by Sweetloaf
  14. Hell is a Place in Earthbind by Bindi in the Car Aisle
  15. I Just Died in Your Armor by The Gutting Crew
  16. Into Your Arms of Hadar by The Limeheads
  17. Johnny B Goodberry by Chunk Flurry
  18. Kids in the Darkmagic by All Time High
  19. King of Wisdom Thinking by Head East
  20. Living Undead Girl by Sob Zombies
  21. Lust for Aura of Life by Biggy Pac
  22. The Man with the Wild in His Eyes by Fabri Kate
  23. The Night My Ranger Died by Make Her Chase
  24. Pact This Boon for Two by The Unmentionables
  25. Pantheon and On and On by The Orbit Gals
  26. Papa's Got a Brand New Bag of Holding by Jimmy Blue
  27. Penny from the Arcane Lock by Penny Lo Rez
  28. Picture Book of Lore by The Kinkies
  29. Pieces of Gold by Wada Pain
  30. Ranger Zone by Kenny Boggins
  31. Sick of My Elf by Matt Sour
  32. Sleight of Hand in my Pocket by Ironic Morissee
  33. Sounds Familiar by Melodious Monk
  34. Splish Acid Splash by Dobby Barren
  35. Sympathy for the Dust Devils by The Sliding Rocks
  36. Take a Bow and Arrow by Sharonna
  37. Take Some Initiative by Pretty Flap
  38. Tavern of the Rising Sun by Animal Friendship
  39. Tell Her About Intelligence by Willy Soul
  40. This Magic Alignment by Jay and the Arcanians


Are you more of a classic rock kind of bard? Does one of these headliners offend ye olde copyright law? Feel free to spin your own LP in the comments below and, if you like this post, share it with your friends on Twitter and Facebook.